It’s Time to get Serious About Addressing the Deficit

“It is very difficult to over-encourage someone.”  Mark Greenawald, MD (a principle I live by)

With pandemic numbers worsening, staffing levels for healthcare facilities being at a breaking point in many regions, and many social events and/or trips being cancelled (yet again), it would be easy to feel discouraged at the moment.  Indeed, it seems like we could all use some encouragement right now.  Then again, when could we not use a bit more encouragement!? 

How do you like to be encouraged?  This is a question I ask frequently when I facilitate leadership development or well-being workshops, followed by a second question:  How many of you regularly feel like you are “over-encouraged”?  The various “don’t be ridiculous” looks I consistently receive after asking that second question, followed by uncomfortable laughter, confirms that most of us live with a significant “encouragement deficit.”  Indeed, it is a rarity when someone indicates that they’ve EVER felt over-encouraged (and I sense some of them are raising their hands just to be contrarian …). 

The word “encourage” originates from the Latin “cor” (heart) and prefix “en” (to cause to be in).  To cause to be in heart.  To encourage someone helps them live with more authenticity, bravery, creativity, tenacity, adventurousness, and wholeheartedness.  When feeling encouraged, one is more likely to achieve success in whatever they are attempting.  If we ever needed more of that in our lives, it is certainly during these times. 

Given the widespread encouragement deficit, you could likely use a bit more yourself.  The good news is that it’s readily available.  The bad news is that you might have to make yourself a bit vulnerable by asking for it.  How might you help others become better encouragers for you?  The first step in this process is to ask yourself, “How do I like to be encouraged?”  It may surprise you that we all hear encouragement in different ways, and many have never considered that they prefer some approaches much more than others.  The next step would be to invite others to offer encouragement to you in a way that will be most effective; “If you want to encourage me, here’s how best to do it.” The final step would be to share with them exactly where you would most benefit from being encouraged;  “This is where I presently could really use your encouragement.”   And then reverse this process and return the favor by asking others, “Where could you use some encouragement right now and how do you like to be encouraged?”

The reality is that encouragement is not in short supply, but rather it is the sharing of it that is. Since encouragement helps us all live with “larger hearts,”  it is vital that we don’t “save” it for another time.   So if you need some right now, remember you’re not alone … and ask for it.  While doing so might place you in a space of vulnerability, it also helps ourselves and others bring our “bigger game” to the world.  We could sure use as much of that as we can get right now.   

And when you reach that point of “encouragement saturation,” please write and let me know what it feels like …