Celebrate Good Times (with others)? Come On!
“Celebration is habit fertilizer.” BJ Fogg, PhD, author of “Tiny Habits: The Small Habits That Change Everything”
There’s a guy at the local gym where I’m a member who always uses the treadmill closest to the door when it is available. As others go by to leave, he smiles, holds out his fist for a “bump” and says, “You did it!” Invariably, the bump is reciprocated, and that small gesture of celebration brings a smile and some well-wishes for the remainder of the day.
In full disclosure, I’m “that guy.” Over time, I have gotten to know most of the gym “regulars,” and they now look for this exchange as part of their workout ritual. Why do I do this? For me, encouraging others is a form of celebration and anyone who comes to the gym to take care of their health deserves to be celebrated. But, of course, I don’t do this just at the gym. I look for similar opportunities to connect in this way throughout my day as I celebrate small moments of goodness with patients, colleagues, and friends.
It turns out, these “little gestures” are not so little. Psychologist BJ Fogg is the founder and director of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University, and in his research has found that adults rarely celebrate their successes or feel good about their accomplishments. Rather, they focus mainly on shortcomings, and there is a significant cost to that. He writes, “Celebration is the best way to use emotions and create a positive feeling that wires in new habits …. When I teach people about human behavior, I boil it down to three words: Emotions create habits. Not repetition. Not frequency. Not fairy dust. Emotions. When you are designing for habit formation — for yourself or for someone else — you are really designing for emotions.”
Indeed, it’s tapping into the power of our emotions, not the mechanics, that is the not so secret but greatly underutilized “secret sauce” for making improvements in our lives. This doesn’t discount the importance of having a well-thought-out plan, but without a deeply held, inspiring and motivating “why” and teammates who are cheering you on along the way (and you, them), long-term success is much less likely. And while a “private celebration” of these small victories is better than none at all, it seems much wiser to take advantage of our evolutionarily wired interconnectedness and invite others into the “winners circle” with you. This is what “that guy” at the gym is doing – and it works, day after day, one fist bump and smile at a time.
This week, find at least one “fist bump opportunity” and take the time to connect and celebrate with a colleague or teammate, even if it is just for a moment. But be careful! You might turn out to be contagious.