Celebrate Thanks-Giving Every Day

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude”.  -Brene Brown

When I ask people what they want more than anything in life, the top answer is always, “I just want to be happy”.

We spend our life chasing happiness and hoping someday we will finally figure it out.  In reality, we are the architect of our own happiness.  Studies show that only 10% of our happiness can be attributed to the things (good or bad) that happen in our lives, 40% of our happiness appears to be genetically determined (“set point”),  and 50% of our happiness is how we process the things that happen to us.  So, the good news is, much of our happiness is under our control.  That bad news is, that if only 10% of our happiness is due to the people and things that happen around you, it’s pretty hard to blame others for our unhappiness….  (Darn…that would be so much easier.)

The tool I like the most to intentionally increase my happiness is called “Three Good Things”.  It is simple, easy and only takes a couple minutes a day.  Here’s the process:

  • For 21 days before you go to sleep, reflect on three good things that happened to you during the day;

  • Write them down in a journal (include the emotion/s you felt with these memories);

  • Reflect on why they happened;

  • THAT’S IT, then go to bed and let the magic happen.

Research has shown that doing this simple act daily for 3 weeks prior to bed can potentially improve your happiness levels and decrease depression (by as much as taking a SSRI) for at least 6 months. 

Why does this work?  We know that when we are sleeping, our brain continues to strengthen neural networks AND it strengthens those networks that were our focus within the 2 hours prior to sleep more than anything else.  So, the idea with the Three Good Things is that if we focus on positive things in our life before we go to bed, our brain hardwires them during our sleep. 

So, why not give it a try!  As a warm-up, consider doing a round of 3 Good Things at the start of Thanksgiving Dinner with family and friends.  Maybe you could even incorporate it as a bedtime routine with your kids, spouse, or  partner.  And after experiencing 3 weeks of the magic of increased happiness, at that point, why would you stop?!

And for health’s sake, please remember that your daily “Thanks-Giving” is not about the food ….

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Equanimity in the Midst of This Season’s “Surge”

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It’s Okay to Tell Someone Where It Hurts