Our Opportunity to Promote Healing

“When we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.”   Susan David, PhD (Emotional Agility)

Having served in the military, I am quite hesitant to ever compare anything to war.  There is a reason that the phrase “War is Hell,” first quoted by General Willam Sherman during the US Civil War, is part of our collective consciousness.   As I post this on Memorial Day, I honor those who have given up their lives in military service to our country, even as I grieve the reasons why this needed to occur.

And yet, this pause is also an opportunity to take a moment to recognize those healthcare workers who lost their lives in the first year of the pandemic, since there will likely never be an official recognition of this sacrifice.  Data from Kaiser Health News estimates more than 3,600 healthcare workers have lost their lives due to their work caring for patients on the front lines of the pandemic, including over 600 physicians.  That does not include the likely tens of thousands or more who have been inflicted with COVID wounds, including for many, PTSD. 

There is a temptation in our culture to “glamorize” war in an attempt to re-write the “War is Hell” story.   I’ve recently noted a related trend among some leaders in healthcare to retell the pandemic story for healthcare workers as one of our collectively finding deeper meaning and purpose in service to our patients, seemingly ignoring or downplaying the incredible toll it has taken.  Holding such a view is so enticing, particularly when leaders may feel impotent to be able to address the distress that has been experienced by so many.  

However, the unrecognized cost of projecting such a story is to create more shame and guilt for those who are struggling to heal from their pandemic wounds, and to have them feel marginalized, inadequate, unworthy, weak – similar, perhaps, to how those who have suffered the wounds (visible and invisible) of war are often treated.  The pain and suffering from COVID did not impact everyone equally.  For some, the losses were greater and the harm substantial.  And “post-traumatic” growth, if it is to happen at all, cannot occur without one first coming to terms with and healing from the trauma that has been experienced in the first place.   

So on this Memorial Day, as we begin to emerge from the pandemic and celebrate the “unofficial” start to summer, let’s not rush too quickly to get “past” or “over” the pandemic.  Rather, let us remember those whose lives have been forever changed by COVID … and provide them the space and support to truly, not “falsely,” heal – for as long as it takes.