Perhaps It’s Time to Get Angry

“Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person,  to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”   Aristotle

My outburst caught me completely off guard.  After a seemingly trivial episode in which I realized I had forgotten something at home while traveling to work, I screamed a series of expletives to no one in particular.  Afterwards I felt both surprised and strangely a little better, but at the same time disturbed by the force of my reaction when I am usually pretty even keeled.  I was left wondering where all of that emotion might have come from.  

Most of us who work in healthcare have been led to believe the experience of anger or frustration or a myriad of other strongly “negatively charged”  emotions is very “unprofessional.”  We therefore may find ourselves often denying or suppressing them.   This does not, of course,  make them go away, but rather more often has them leak or burst out at inopportune or inappropriate times or cause us internal “emotional corrosion.”   And while certainly the way one expresses their anger can be inappropriate and/or destructive, the experience of anger itself is quite natural and very understandable given the present challenges of practicing medicine and our past few years as a country.

Wondering what the professionals have to say about “anger management” these days,  I visited the website of our colleagues at Mental Health America (MHA) and was relieved to find that perhaps my private vocal outburst was not so inappropriate after all.  Some of their suggestions for outlets for emotions such as anger include consciously pausing and breathing, exercising, journaling, dancing, singing, going to a different room or outside, verbalizing the anger in an appropriate setting (aka “venting”), asking for help, and even screaming (in private).  They emphasized the importance of gaining a better understanding of the cause or causes of your anger for you and managing both yourself and that circumstance. 

Later that day I took a few minutes to process this episode with one of my PeerRxMed buddies.  In doing so, I was able to see how a stressor from a health-related issue may have been the real source of my outburst, with my forgetfulness being a catalyst for the anger that was apparently lurking just under the surface.  We also checked in with each other as to how we were processing our numerous present challenges and whether we were regularly accessing the outlets that we know are helpful for us.  Finally, we agreed that it would be wise for us to check in more frequently to specifically ask how each of us was doing emotionally, while not accepting “I’m fine” for an answer.

So, if you’ve experienced feelings of anger lately (or whatever you call your “anger-like emotions”), please know you’re not abnormal and you’re not alone.  Remember that your PeerRxMed partner is standing by to help support you, since I’m confident that you are no longer foolish enough to think you can or should manage your challenges and distress on your own.  Indeed, we all need to leave those days behind us.  After all, no one should care alone … ever. 

For more suggestions and details from Mental Health America, here are some links:

·       Dealing with anger and frustration:  Link

·       Healthy ways to release rage:  Link