Saying “No” to Regain your JOMO
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” ― Warren Buffet
How are you? When I ask colleagues this question in the context of their professional lives, adjectives such as “overly busy,” ”surviving,” overwhelmed,” “running on fumes,” and even “at the end of my rope” are sadly used too often. Indeed, for many, activities that had previously been joy-filled now lack any sense of fulfillment whatsoever. Yet one of the biggest challenges for many of those same physicians is their inability to say “no.”
Over the last decade, there is an acronym that has gained popularity which describes this phenomenon – JOMO or the Joy Of Missing Out. JOMO is seen as an antidote to the more pervasive phenomenon of FOMO or Fear Of Missing Out, exemplified by our society’s obsession with social media. During our “pandemic pause,” many found that instead of “missing out” on the things they weren’t able to do, they discovered their overfull lives were often causing them to miss out on many of the simple things in life (like “doing nothing,” engaging in hobbies, and spending time with loved ones) that actually brought them great joy. The pandemic provided a “legitimate excuse” to say no to activities that many found they weren’t actually interested in but felt a professional and/or social obligation to say “yes” to.
Yet our present circumstances would indicate many of us didn’t actually internalize any of our “pandemic lessons”! So how can one learn to say “no” more effectively? “Saying No Experts” have found certain techniques can be quite useful in helping you to both say no and not feel like you’re letting someone down and/or missing out on the “opportunity of a lifetime” in the process of doing so.
The first step is to spend some time becoming clear about your priorities and therefore being better able to discern if opportunities are right for you. The next step is to realize that there will be many more “good” opportunities that come your way than you can ever say “yes” to, so saying “no” is something that you should expect to happen regularly. And then there is “how to say no” in a way that leaves you feeling less guilty about it. Those same experts encourage that practicing the actual phrases ahead of time can allow them to become more natural for you. In fact, one of them has provided "50 Ways to Nicely Say No" to help get you started.
If it’s reassuring for you, I’ve never had a colleague express regret about having better aligned their priorities with their time. I have, however, had many express regrets when they didn’t. The same goes for me. So why not take some time this week to examine your schedule, and see where there might be opportunities to say no? Perhaps you could discuss these with your PeerRx partner and even practice! What may be waiting on the other side of your next “no, thank you” is the joy of missing out, and as you now know, that’s likely not really missing out at all.