“The Great Recalibration” (Part 2): Is it Time for an “End of Life” (as you know it) Conversation?
“Look closely at the present you are constructing. It should look like the future you are dreaming.” - Alice Walker, Pulitzer Prize winning author
In last week’s blog, I explored the opportunity that our current circumstances in healthcare have provided for each of us to ask some important questions regarding the present and future direction of our professional lives. In order to do this, it will be necessary to take a “pause” and carve out time and attention to consider what those questions are for us. I have called this opportunity “The Great Recalibration.”
For me, perhaps unexpectedly, the questions that have emerged were those posed many years ago by Atul Gawande, MD in his book Being Mortal. When I reflected that these questions were intended to be asked as part of a conversation for those who had a finite time to live (“end of life”), that sometimes annoying and persistent little voice inside me responded, “That’s all of us, including you ….”
So here are some of the questions (modified for context) that I have been posing to myself during my ongoing “longitudinal pause”. In the spirit of the “Great Recalibration” opportunity we’ve all been afforded, I’m hoping you will join me by carving out some time and asking yourself these same questions. Perhaps you could consider them your “End of Life as I Knew It” conversation.
What is your understanding of your present condition and any “distress” you are feeling?
What are your fears (or worries) about the future?
What are your goals for the time you have remaining and therefore, your priorities right now?
What outcomes are unacceptable to you and therefore, what trade-offs are you willing to make?
What would a good day look like for you (both at work and beyond work)?
Tragically some people go an entire lifetime without answering most of these even once. If the questions (or your own version of them) resonate with you, consider carving out some protected “me times” for reflection and then doing some journaling or even sharing with someone (your PeerRxMed partner?) regarding what you are hearing. You could even frame such times as part of your “longitudinal sabbatical.”
I greatly admire colleagues who have the insight and courage to realize the importance of carving out time to take a “pause” and regain perspective – to recalibrate. Doing so certainly deviates from our professional programming and therefore is not easy. But then again, neither is feeling demoralized and exhausted. In answering these questions, I suspect I (and you) will experience some “endings” and possibly new beginnings. I’ll let you know, and hope you’ll take time to let me know as well. After all, we’re in this together. No one should care alone ….