The Importance of Staying Connected - With Yourself
“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone... Each by itself has profound perils and pitfalls.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together
When was the last time you spent an extended period (even an hour) alone and completely “disconnected” technologically from the world (no cell phone, computer, radio, television)? If your answer is “a long time” or “can’t remember,” please read on. While the foundation of the PeerRxMed process is interconnection, wisdom literature across many cultures indicates the necessity of regular time alone in solitude (and often in the natural world) if one is to attain psychological resilience and spiritual depth. Yet such guidance is antithetical to our “always connected” culture.
In fact, being alone without external stimuli can, for many, cause great psychological angst. A study done with college students published in 2014 found that participants were so averse to spending 15 minutes sitting quietly in a room by themselves that many preferred to administer electric shocks to themselves as a distraction, even though they had indicated previously that they would pay money to not be shocked. Fifteen minutes!
Over the past 2 months I have spent some much-needed time alone and disconnected while paddleboarding at dawn on a local lake. It has been during these times that I have found myself quieted enough to be able to hear what I would consider my “soul’s voice.” And according to that voice, we were long overdue for a chat. As we have become re-acquainted, what I have heard has spanned the continuum from disturbing and chastising to humorous and annoying to humbling and challenging and finally to empowering and life-giving. Indeed, this important time “together” has already catalyzed a reprioritization of some of my time, energy, and focus. Most of all, like reconnecting with a dear friend from your past who knows you “almost too well,” there’s been a depth and richness to our conversation that has been grounding and “heartful.” Indeed, I’m feeling more like my whole-hearted “true self” again, and look forward to connecting with my PeerRxMed partners and others to share what I’ve heard.
How about you? In the midst of all the “swirl” of the world, are you carving out some extended, undisturbed time to be sure you’re hearing your “soul’s voice?” If not, what’s keeping you from doing so? Consider starting with something simple, like a regular “unplugged” walk in the woods, just listening and noticing. Don’t focus as much on hearing revelations as noticing how you are feeling emotionally and physically during your “time away” and when you return. If the two of you haven’t talked for a while, it may take some time to become reacquainted. The soul will speak when it is ready, and you will hear it when you are ready.
With the end of the COVID-19 public health emergency, the last 3 years have provided ample reasons as to why regularly checking-in with yourself to clarify what is important to you and living from that place is more vital than ever. That can’t happen without some undistracted space to be able to listen. It may take more than 15 minutes, but the only “shock” will be likely be that your own soul is much wiser than often given it credit for … and hopefully that will prompt you to schedule more regular buddy checks with your “original” PeerRxMed buddy!