The Wounded Healer: There is Power in Sharing Our Stories

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” — Maya Angelou

It’s likely happened to all of us, many times in fact, but the “gut punch” impact doesn’t wane.  Perhaps it was a letter notifying you of a malpractice case or board of medicine inquiry, or a message about a peer review concern.  Or perhaps it was your own realization that you had overlooked a lab or x-ray abnormality, or had misprescribed a medication.  It may have been a patient complaint, or a colleague being critical of our care.

In any case, the immediate reaction is a sense of dread, or anger, or numbness … or more likely a combination of a myriad of difficult to access emotions – and of perhaps the desire to want to hide.  Over time if not addressed appropriately, these emotions can expand to a chronic sense of shame, fear, vulnerability and can lead to indecision, apathy, a loss of confidence – and isolation.

This was the case for me after receiving an inquiry from our state board of medicine in 2007 regarding a patient death.   What ultimately transpired was a long, drawn out, and emotionally exhausting process that I’ve only recently had the courage to revisit at the invitation of a colleague for the podcast Rx For Success: Life Changing Moments. 

What I shared surprised even me, and it wasn’t until I listened to the interview that I realized while the circumstances of my story are perhaps unique, the importance of what I have learned from this prolonged journey of emotional healing is more universal for physicians.  And as I became tearful around minute 30, I also realized that there was some unprocessed emotional residue still lingering from that time – that my healing was not yet complete.

Perhaps it is only in telling our stories that true healing can come, or perhaps serving as witness to another’s story is enough.  In either case, I would encourage you to listen to the entire interview.  At the least, it may provide a model and some encouragement for you to share your own stories of the traumatic emotional wounds obtained on this professional journey with a trusted colleague (your PeerRxMed partner?).  More so, maybe you will hear some of your own story in mine, and in that case my ongoing journey of healing might be a catalyst for your own as well.  Either way, you come out a better person on the other side. 

Seems like a worthwhile investment to me … click here to give a listen:  Rx For Success Podcast: Life-Changing Moments -Avoiding Isolation