Time to Start Spending … Your Time

“The true currency of social connection is not simply social proximity, but rather vulnerability, empathy, and focused attention.”     Vivek Murthy, MD (Surgeon General)  

A common theme I’ve heard among colleagues lately is “I can’t wait to travel and spend time with those I haven’t seen.”  This sentiment is certainly understandable after many have felt quite physically constrained over the past year.

Indeed, despite communication technology, many have been feeling both physically and socially “distanced” from friends and family who don’t live in close proximity.  Most of us have saved up a lot of “social currency” during this pandemic, ready to spend our share of “I can’t wait to see yous.”  How might you optimally spend all these pent-up social riches in the months ahead? 

Viewed differently, as you prepare to start to reconnect physically with some of those who have been “distanced,” how might the time you spend with them be different?   What patterns are due for an upgrade?  These “reunions” occurring after such a challenging time provide a wonderful opportunity to deepen important relationships and not simply re-connect, but to connect in new ways. 

In his quote, Dr. Murthy provides 3 crucial ingredients needed in order for that to happen: vulnerability, empathy, and focused attention.  It will be important to be curious as to how they are feeling while also more authentically sharing your own feelings, some of which may be uncomfortable or surprising.  Taking some time to reflect on how you’ve likely changed over the past year and providing space to learn how they have changed will be necessary.  Finally, making an intention to being fully present with them in the moment and to not try and “catch up” or “reclaim a lost year” will be essential. 

We can’t get back what has been lost over the past year, but we can certainly spend the precious time we have now wisely.  In the coming weeks and months, take advantage of this time to better get to know those in your life – those both physically near and far.  The dividends that result from your well-invested currency of social connection have the potential to be … priceless ….