We Need to Take More Call
“You just call on me …. when you need a hand. We all need somebody to lean on.” Bill Withers, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee, from the song “Lean on Me”
Asking for help is not something that comes naturally or easily for me, nor for many others. And yet, I’m always glad to help when a colleague reaches out to me, and touched when someone connects “just to check in.” While there was a time in my career when I may have been bothered and perhaps even felt a bit defensive by such an outreach (professional posturing = “I’m fine!”), those days are past for me. The emotional load we carry is simply too great for any of us to try to process it alone.
At the same time, I’m a lot more likely to both reach out for help and look forward to those “check-ins” when a trusting relationship exists. How is that trust developed? Through regular brief connections (“touches”) by text or e-mail and also pre-scheduled times to meet in order to share life together. Unlike ongoing friendships from our youth, our “adult relationships” take regular and intentional action in order for them to effectively form, be sustained, and grow, because at this stage in our careers and lives we don’t usually have a lot of “hang out together” time. Yet these newer relationships are essential, as these are often the people who know us best now, not simply as an older version of a person they knew from the past.
So it was a true gift this past week to have the opportunity to check in via video with a valued colleague I’ve known for the past 8 years who lives elsewhere, and with whom I hadn’t spoken for 3 months. While our original intention when we scheduled the meeting weeks ago was to “catch up and look ahead,” we ended up talking about a decision I was struggling with that he had a unique perspective on. Had we not had this regular time scheduled, I likely would not have reached out to him to serve as a sounding board.
While it would be my desire that colleagues would feel comfortable calling on me when they need a hand (or an ear) and that I would be totally comfortable doing the same with them, we know that familiarity and shared experience make such an outreach much more likely. This happens by our being intentional about connecting not only when we need support or encouragement, but also when we simply want to communicate “I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you are, so let’s connect soon” and scheduling that time without feeling like we are imposing or bothering each other.
That’s the entire purpose of PeerRx – to both regularly remind us of the importance of sharing the journey together, and then help encourage and equip us to do so. For that reason, I’m glad to take more “call.” That kind of call is never an imposition. Rather, it is life-giving for all involved. As Bill Withers reminds us “… it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on …,” so let’s be sure to prepare by proactively and regularly scheduling time with our inner circle of trusted colleagues, including our PeerRx partner. And as a bonus, there will be no post-call brain fog ….