The Art of Taking Nothing for Granted

“If I knew this was the last time I’ll see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just foolishly assume you know it already.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez, novelist

When was the last time you played hopscotch?  Freeze tag?  Hide-and-seek?  Built a fort?  Or, perhaps more substantively, when was the last time you had a chance to spend quality time with those in your life whom you would claim to love dearly?  To hug them?  To laugh or cry with them?  To tell them how much they mean to you?  Was there anything about that time that you took for granted?  What would you regret having said or not said, done or not done, if you never see them again?   

The fact is that for everything we do and for everyone we love, there will be a “last time.”  This has certainly been one of the many sobering reminders of the COVID pandemic.  And while we “know” this cognitively, if we are willing to stop and reflect on our actions, we don’t always live in a way that demonstrates our awareness of the fleeting nature of those precious present moments.  At least that’s the case for me, and I have a sneaking suspicion for you as well. 

In the ancient Greek philosophy of Stoicism, there is a thought process they called the “last time meditation.”  The premise is quite simple. One is asked to consider, “if I knew this were the last time I was ever doing ____, or being with ____, how would I show up differently than I am presently showing up?”  In other words, the Stoics recognized that every moment represents a finite opportunity to savor your life.

While at first blush that can seem a rather dark question, given the “reality check” of a year that we’ve just been through, the question takes on a much sharper focus and perhaps provides a greater sense of urgency.  Indeed, there are “last times” that will be happening in your week this week - even in your day today. 

This week my extended family is gathering for some vacation time together.  It is the first time in a year I’ve seen my parents and 2 years since seeing one of my sisters.  Much has happened in that time – graduations, jobs changes, relationship joys and challenges, medical diagnoses, financial struggle and success, marriages, deaths of friends and relatives.  And so in the midst of laughter and light-hearted fun,  I have set an intention to be sure I am showing up fully and taking nothing for granted, knowing that there are likely some “lasts” that are happening and I don’t want to look back with regret at having missed them. 

What interactions will you be having this week where you want to be sure to be fully present? For those moments, consider taking a pause to perform a brief “last time meditation.”  And when appropriate, be sure to tell them how much you love and appreciate them.  Even if it’s not the “last time,” you’ll be glad you did – and so will they.