It’s Time to Get Serious About Addressing the Deficit!
“It appears next to impossible to over-encourage someone, so why not try to see if you can achieve the impossible.” Me
This past week I received a very thoughtful LinkedIn message from a colleague I hadn’t heard from for 3 years expressing appreciation for a recent AMA "Moving Medicine" podcast interview I had given on peer-to-peer support. I was both flattered and touched, and her words of encouragement provided an incredible emotional “boost” for me that has persisted. In her words I also heard the echoes of the encouragement that so many others have provided to me over the years that helped put me in a position to even be a guest on a podcast.
The Oxford Dictionary defines encouragement as “the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.” The word “encourage” originates from the Lain “cor” (heart) and prefix “en” (to cause to be in). To cause to be in heart. To encourage someone helps them live with more authenticity, bravery, creativity, tenacity, adventurousness, and wholeheartedness – with a “larger heart.” When feeling encouraged, one has a much greater chance of achieving success in whatever they are attempting. Who couldn’t use more of that?!
As a long-time “student of encouragement, a question I ask frequently when facilitating leadership development or well-being workshops is, “How many of you regularly feel like you are ‘over-encouraged?’” The various “don’t be ridiculous” looks I consistently receive followed by uncomfortable laughter confirms that most of us live with a significant “encouragement deficit.” Think of all the squandered potential in our midst! The fact is that no matter how much one has achieved and regardless of how successful they are, encouragement still matters – greatly!
Given the pervasive encouragement deficit, you could likely use a bit more yourself. The good news is that it’s readily available. The bad news is that you might have to make yourself a bit vulnerable by asking for it. How might you help others become better encouragers for you? The first step is to ask yourself, “How do I like to be encouraged?” It may surprise you that we all hear encouragement in different ways, and many have never considered that they prefer some approaches much more than others. The next step would be to invite others to offer it to you in a way that will be most effective; “If you want to encourage me, here’s how best to do it.” The final step would be to share with them exactly where you would most benefit from being encouraged; “This is where I presently could really use your encouragement.” And then reverse this process and return the favor by asking them, “How do you like to be encouraged and where could you use some right now?”
If we truly want to help bring out the best in each other, it will be essential provide encouragement generously and frequently. Perhaps you could start by practicing with your PeerRxMed partner! Since encouragement helps us all live with “larger hearts,” it is vital that we don’t “save” it for another time. Enlarged hearts, after all, create enlarged lives, which will create an enlarged world. We could sure use as much of that as we can get right now.
PS: And when you reach that point of “encouragement saturation,” please write and let me know what it feels like …