What Would You Do if You Won the Lottery?

“You don't pay love back; you pay it forward." Lily Hardy Hammond, author 1916 book “In the Garden of Delight”

While on an inpatient month during my 3rd year of residency, I cared for a patient who had terminal cancer with a very short life expectancy.  Yet he was one of those patients who when you spent time with him, if you didn’t know his prognosis, you would have had no idea he had at most weeks to live. He was always smiling, radiating love, and lifting up those around him.  Indeed, he glowed.

One day while rounding on him, I had some extra time and sat down at his bedside to see how he was really processing his illness, expecting that he had some unexpressed fear, doubt, or worry.  I said to him, “Despite your illness and what appears to be much pain, you always seem to be happy and grateful.  Do you have any questions or concerns?”   He smiled at me and replied, “Doc, as I look back on it, I now understand I’ve had a blessed life.  Indeed, in my later years I realize that it’s like I won the lottery on the day I was born.  I only wish I hadn’t waited so long to live like it.  So now I’m making up for lost time.”

It was the last time we spoke as he died soon after, and over the many years since then, I’ve found myself often thinking about him and the impact he had on me, particularly when I have one of those “woe is me” days.  You likely have them as well. 

Then last year, while cleaning out my office of 2 decades to make room for a newly arriving colleague, I was going through my drawer of cards, letters, and pictures which had been gifted to me by patients I cared for and I had saved (you likely have them as well …).   While reading and remembering, I came upon a thank you card from this particular patient that I had forgotten about. In fact, I had received it from him the day after he died.  Inside, it said the following: “Hey Doc, Thanks so much for all you did for me.  When we last spoke, I forget to tell you something.  You also won the lottery on the day you were born.  You are so Blessed.  Please don’t wait like I did to live like it.  And remember to pay it forward.”

And if you’re reading this, know that regardless of the hardships you’ve endured to get to this point in your life, you also won the lottery on the day you were born.  Please don’t wait to live from that place of gratitude … and remember to pay it forward.