What’s the Rest of Your Story?

“And now you know … the rest of the story.”  Paul Harvey, legendary radio personality   

While growing up, I can remember my grandmother listening regularly to Paul Harvey’s radio show, “The Rest of the Story.”  At his peak of popularity, the legendary commentator delivered his daily news and feature broadcast to more than 25 million listeners, and each segment would include short stories that focused on forgotten or little-known facts about historical events and personalities.  These stories would always finish with a surprise twist and his trademark ending:  “And now you know . . . the rest of the story.”

Each of us has our own “news and feature broadcast” playing daily in our minds to an audience of 1.  What are the stories being told about yourself on your show?  I like to call them our “I am,” or, when we’re feeling particularly disconnected from ourselves, our “you are” stories.   Perhaps yours tell of feeling overwhelmed, weary, angry, frustrated, or “done with this!”  They might scold that “you are” … stupid, pathetic, ugly, lonely or an imposter.  Or maybe they affirm “I am” grateful, blessed, loved, beautiful, smart.  Those two simple words, “I am” or “you are,” have incredible power, as they imply a core identity … an essence.  And too often what’s “playing” on our broadcast is not particularly uplifting.     

But fortunately, the story you are telling is not the whole story.  There are other “you are” stories beyond the ones you tell yourself.  Those stories come from the perspective of those who know us well – those who see in us ways we often don’t see (or even want to see) ourselves. 

This past April I had the privilege of co-facilitating a day-long retreat for our first-year Family Medicine residents.  The entire day was a powerful time of connection, sharing, laughter, and yes, some tears.  To close our time together, we held a circle of affirmation.  This consisted of focusing on one person at a time with each of us taking turns saying their name and then sharing an attribute or characteristic about that person that we greatly admired or appreciated.  The recipient’s role was to make eye contact, listen intently, and when each person was finished, to say “thank you.”    

Needless to say, what was shared during our time together was an infusion of love and blessing and encouragement for everyone there.  We left the retreat “better” than when we arrived, with revised stories – stories that much more accurately reflected who each of us are in the eyes of our colleagues … stories that reflected a deeper truth.  And we were each reminded of the importance of regularly sharing such stories with those who matter to us – those who, like us, desperately need to hear … the rest of the story.