What to Do When You’ve Lost Your Why
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche
A recent statement by a physician colleague regarding his work caught my attention. “I know why I went into medicine, but I’m not as clear as to why I keep doing it.” From what I’m hearing, he’s not alone.
We’re all quite practiced in telling our story as to “why I wanted to do this” ( … love science, help people, etc.). We wrote about it and shared it repeatedly as we ascended the professional education ladder. But the question “Why do I keep doing this?” – well that’s a different question entirely, and it caused me to pause.
In reflecting, I was reminded of the story of “The Stonecutters” that I have shared in many leadership workshops, the origins of which are uncertain. It goes like this:
“The story is told of 3 stone cutters building a cathedral in the Middle Ages. The village Noble visits one day to check on their work.
He approaches the first and asks, “What are you doing?” Angrily, the stone cutter turns and replies, “Idiot! Use your eyes! They bring me a rock, I cut it into a block, they take it away, and they bring me another rock. I’ve been doing this since I was old enough to work, and I’m going to be doing it until the day I die.”
Quickly, the Noble withdraws and goes to the next man, asking him the same question. This stone cutter smiles and tells him, “I’m earning a living for my beloved family. With my wages I have built a home, we have food on our table, and the children are growing strong.”
Moving on, the Noble approaches a third man with the same question. Pausing, this stone cutter gives him a look of deep fulfillment and tells him, “I am building a great cathedral, a holy lighthouse where the people of our village who are lost in the dark can find their strength and remember their way. And it will stand for a thousand years!”
Wow! Same work, yet an entirely different life experience. When I’m honest with myself, particularly given the present daily challenges of medical practice, on any given day I might be all 3 of these stone cutters at different times. Too often I am in “survival mode,” just getting through the day the best I can. That’s not necessarily a bad thing given some other alternatives, but I know that I’m called to more in this work – and this life. And I know that when I anchor to purpose and meaning, work is more fulfilling for me and more highly impactful for others …. my “stones are cut” with better precision, with greater care.
So, remember that each day, whether consciously or unconsciously, we’re demonstrating our “why” by how we show up. For many, the person who is showing up may be due for an upgrade, particularly if you’re having too many days like that first stone cutter – or our colleague quoted above. In the coming weeks, consider intentionally choosing to anchor daily to a “why” that is compelling for you and allow it to define your day. And if you’ve “lost your why” professionally, don’t settle for just going through the motions. Reach out to a friend, colleague (your PeerRxMed partner!), therapist or coach to help you gain clarity. Considering the nature of the work we do, the stakes are much too high to do otherwise.